I'm often asked about preaching. Some ask about the mechanics of preparing and delivering a sermon. Others ask about the experiences of preaching regularly before a congregation. Still others ask personal questions--my opinion on preaching styles, sermon content, or my personal preferences in hearing other preachers. I've decided to offer up some answers in a series of posts.
Sorry I got away from this for so long. Last time I dropped in on this series I promised to share a few funny experiences from the pulpit. Well, I don't use a pulpit, but you understand that I'm sharing a few funny moments from my preaching past, pulpit or no. By the way, by funny, I mean 'struck me funny' so as not to be confused with what others might consider a knee-slapping hoot.
What? Gary laughed? ~ In the early years of my preaching there was a guy in my congregation--I'll simply refer to him as Gary. As I've shared with you before, I don't notice specific people or their reactions to points of my sermons while I'm preaching. If I say something that is funny and people laugh, it's very rare that I'd notice who laughed or who didn't. But with Gary, you'd always know--because Gary never laughed. At anything. He was as serious a sour-puss as they came. Never a laugh. Rarely a smile. If you thought he gave you a smile, it was only a hint of one--and more like, 'not a frown.'
One Sunday I was preaching out of the gospels and, out of nowhere, Gary erupted in laughter. Seriously erupted! Like the "milk out your nose" variety of laughter. I surely noticed. It was so uncharacteristic for him to laugh at all, not to mention this outburst came at a point where I hadn't said anything funny. I hadn't even completed a sentence. It would be akin to someone breaking out in hysterical laughter after "Knock Knock!" Startled, my mind began to race down two lanes: first the sermon path--continuing on undeterred; but second, my altar alter ego began asking, 'What the heck is so funny?'
It took him a little while but Gary finally stopped laughing out loud. He chuckled a few more times, undoubtedly he was tickled by something and it kept returning to his mind. He even managed to smile for a bit, of the real not the reformed frown type. I, for my part, kept on moving and eventually got to the 'Amen.'
Later that evening I put the cassette tape of the message into the deck (that should give you an idea how long ago this was... cassette tape? anyone?). I forwarded to find Gary's funny moment. Aha! "So you see, Jesus was at the house of Mary and Martha, and their sister Lazarus." I had slipped up and referred to Lazarus as Mary and Martha's sister. That was it. That was all it took and the man almost peed himself! Go figure!
Posture During Prayer ~ Once upon a time I fumbled over a word. That's nothing new--and it's nothing you haven't experienced if you've ever seen me preach. It happens. But this particular fumble struck at the funny bone of many in the congregation (and, dare I say, may have been a pain the butt to a few others). And what's worse, I fumbled on the word once--corrected myself--and then continued to fumble it several more times during the message, each successive time resulting in a roar from the, now humored and completely distracted, congregation.
I was teaching on postures in prayer and referred to an occasion of David "demonstrating heartfelt contrition--falling prostate on the ground, or in other words, taking a prostate position before his God." There were a few chuckles, and a dear member of the congregation came to my aid, correcting quietly, "I think you mean prostrate." To which I asked, "What did I say?" The congregation completely fell apart in laughter. I then, in one of those moments where what crosses my mind probably shouldn't come out of my mouth, offered up, "I wonder what assuming a prostate position would look like?" Well then the congregation really roared. I totally wrecked our train of thought. It took a good bit for us all to recover and regroup on point. Darned if I didn't do it again--next time I tried to use the word prostrate it came out of my mouth prostate, and the whole thing erupted again into wild distraction. And it happened again at the end of the message. I had people coming to me afterwords telling me I was five shades of red right before their eyes. It was very embarrassing. It's one I have to look back on and laugh now.
Uh... You're Not My Wife ~ Another funny moment and this one not when I was preaching, but rather returning to my seat after preaching. I have to set the stage.
At Christ's Church I am blessed to have the greatest worship musicians in church-dom leading music for us every weekend. We have five people who routinely lead the music teams, selecting all the music for each service and "leading us into the Lord's presence." One of those five leaders is my wife, Shari.
One Sunday that Shari was the music leader, I was particularly blessed by the music set. When the music team completed their songs and sat down, Shari was in the front row. Usually, when my sermon is done, the music team returns to lead a closing song--the transition takes place while I am praying. This particular Sunday, a special time of prayer was to follow my sermon--a family was moving out of town and this was their last Sunday with us. One of our elders was to lead that prayer. I took the opportunity to sit down in the front row with my wife.
As I took my seat, the elder leading this prayer-time began his remarks and I gave him my full attention. But I also was struck with the fact that I was sitting next to my wife and I really wanted to affirm her for the wonderful job she did leading music. Without looking, I reached over and lovingly squeezed my wife's thigh, as if to say, "I love you!" or something.
I don't know that it was the thigh itself, but something felt strange. An awkwardness gripped me. I turned my head--to look directly into the very wide eyes of one of the singers in our worship band, NOT my wife! Then I saw my wife, sitting just on the other side of this lady and having seen the whole thing. Realizing what had happened, all three of us burst into laughter--and that at the very moment this elder is lamenting that we were losing this dear family to re-location! You couldn't have planned a more inappropriate moment in which to laugh. Sensing that, I rose to my feet to explain to everyone what had just happened, so as not to be misunderstood--resulting in all of our laughing and really lightening the mood. Even the family leaving seemed to enjoy the timing of it all. Whew!
Back next time with some truly special moments.
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